Reflections after handing in the thesis

So, it has been a while since my last post. Because life happened. We bought a house, had a baby, and I handed in my Ph.D. thesis the day I went on maternity leave. At the moment we are enjoying the last part of our leave travelling two months in Thailand. In a month I will go back to work, and I will be defending my thesis on the 21st of March!  🙂

Another reason I did not keep up my blogging might be because I felt that the Ph.D. work came easily to me. That may sound a bit silly, but I have actually been downplaying myself a bit, confirming the story that Ph.D. life should be really hard. But for me it has been the most amazing time, I have enjoyed the extreme freedom (which of course comes with great responsibility), the traveling, the conferences, the planning and structuring tasks, an especially the writing. I have been to Singapore, Bali, Liverpool, Prague, and Trondheim among other places. I have been on writing retreats in Bali, Singapore, and in Denmark.

I handed in my thesis in silence. Maybe because I did not want to appear “braggy”. So I downplayed it. Maybe because it had not felt like hard work to me*, and maybe I did not feel worthy of the success. Even though I was finishing my thesis during the last part of my pregnancy, I had plenty of luxurious time for napping and wrote the majority of the thesis from my bed. It was not a struggle. And no late nights. I guess it was because I was so passionate about the work that it did not feel like work. And because I was good at it. I especially enjoyed the writing, digging deep into new topics, the planning, structuring time and papers, managing my own time, and getting a decent salary doing it. And now I am owning that success! I am so proud of my work and how much I have learned about myself during those 3 years. Now I am looking forward to the next chapter of my work life starting soon!

Love and light <3

 

*Except for the first few months of my study before I had a new supervisor! My first supervisor and I were not a good match at all. He did not believe I was fit as a Ph.D. student, and I cried at all our meetings. He told me I should consider quitting (maybe it was a motivational strategy?? If so, it did not work AT ALL, I am too sensitive for that). I contacted a Ph.D. coach through the university, and she told me that I could ask for a new supervisor (I did not know that was even an option! I thought I should just be grateful for doing a Ph.D., it did not occur to me that I actually had a saying in anything..). Luckily, he wrote me that he did not have time to supervise me, and I got a new supervisor who was a great match!

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